Worried About My Son

I am having some concerns regarding my oldest son. He has been having a very hard time in school lately, and I fear if he doesn't change some of the choices that he is making, he will end up having something horrible happen to him. The problem is that he is such a hot head. Anything he perceives as an insult to him he just snaps and gets mad. Now he is on a kind of probation because he got mad and kicked the assistant principal at the middle school that he goes to. We keep telling him that he needs to control his emotions and not snap. Also, it seems like he purposely does stuff to get himself in trouble. He has also said that he thinks that he wants to be 'dead' by the time High School comes because there will lots of writing that he will have to do. I am really starting to get worried. He just doesn't seem to want to do anything to promote his cause or do anything that will be in his best interest. He dresses so that kids will mock him at school, and then he gets mad that he does. He eats and eats and eats, and I was really nervous when we were riding the other day on some exercise equipment that he was going to be having a heart attack, since his blood pressure was much worse than mine. He is 14 and I am approaching 40, and I am in much better shape. He should be able to ride or exercise rings around me. He has absolutely no resolution to keep working. When things get hard at all, he just gives up and doesn't bother trying, nor does he care.

I am at a lose of what to do. I give him advice which I think will help him, and so does his mother, but he never follows it. Also he is so addicted to video games, it is almost like he is having withdrawal symptoms when he can't use it. I am getting frustrated.