Preaching to Homosexuals in Atlanta

Midtown Atlanta (also called the Gay Capital of the South, or the San Francisco of the SE) was part of my area. This area includes Georgia Tech as well. It's the area with the newer skyscrapers North of the Bell South tower and is like a 2nd downtown area.

One day my companion and I were out tracting in this area when this guy opens up the door and says..

"I'm sorry, I can't come to the door right now, I'm naked."

"Yes you are. " was my response.

He was completely naked, no towel, no nothin covering him up. Then naked on the door step, he decides to start going off on us about how evil the church is towards 'his' people.

We just said we might try at a better time. Then walked off laughing. (to bad it couldn't have been a nice looking lesbian who was naked. Oh well.)

It's these memories that made my mission 'the two best years of my life.'

Feeling Kind of Melancholy Today

I worked for about 10 hours today, just enough to make sure that I got in my 40 hours for the week. I am starting to have those dangerous thoughts about what I want to do with my life. I turn 35 and think that I haven't really done that much. Though I have been married for 11 years and I have 4 really cool boys who I love very much.

But I am like, am I just going to work at my dead end job until retirement, or go for the 'career' thing where I make a name for myself. I am thinking about getting a Masters in Business and then a Ph.D or DBA so I can teach at a University or Business School. I don't know. I understand and can absorb business, but I have never had the backstabbing backbone necessary to claw my way to the top like so many in business do.

You know what they say. Those who can do, those who can't teach. My problem is I have too much of a conscience, I don't want to DO some of the nasty thing you have to do like sell your soul to get ahead. I don't know if I am making much sense.

Depression is Hard

So I have suffered from Depression for as long as I can remember. I was undiagnosed though until I was about 25. I have taken all the anti-depressants, done counseling, etc.

So recently I had this thought to get healthy by walking and eating better, etc. I went full board for this for about 2 days and them WHAM! I look at myself in the mirror and think...

No matter how much you exercise, no matter how healthy you get now, you are still going to get older and then die. So what is the point?

I am struggling with this thought. I had a good friend killed a couple of months ago who worked where I do, and it's hard sometimes to go in there. Today was one of those days. You can be healthy as an Ox and then someone comes along and kills you. What's the point of all this crap we have to deal with?

I thought I was over this event, but sometimes lately, I feel like I might be going into a serious depression again and I am just barely holding on. I feel like breaking down and crying. No one understands. They just want me all to buck up, work my crappy job, and live a boring safe life, punching a time card for something I don't enjoy at a place that reminds me of my dead friend. I have tried looking for another job, but so far nothing yet. I don't know if a change of job would make me happier or not. I still would have to live with myself.

I need to get some zest and reason for going on, but I don't know how, other than upping the anti-depressants or something.

Having A Change of Heart

I am thinking about getting back into Church again. I feel better when I do. I don't feel so lost and out of sorts. Yes, I do know all the problems that my faith has, but compared to other faiths, such as Islam, it really isn't that bad. I figure God will sort out everything after we come to the other side and put all things right.

Amy Mullins, you will be missed

It is with sadness that I relate the fact that one of my very best friends here in Washington was killed by her husband on Saturday July, 21, 2007.

I first met Amy when I got a job with the Western Institutional Review Board in Olympia Washington. She was my trainer and then later my supervisor for the last month and 1/2. She was a sweet and kind person who always had a lot of energy and a smile on her face. I would often joke with my wife that if I was going to have an affair with anyone at work, it would probably have been her.

She was always a great support and friend. I think that her husband, or former husband should rot in hell. Now he is trying to do an insanity defense? GIVE ME A BREAK! What an asshole.

If I could right now, I would like to wrap my hands around his neck and throttle him. Right now, I am sure that a lot of other people feel this way too. I feel sorry for Alicia and Kayleice, her daughters, and for Matt, Steve's son.

I feel a great emptiness and pain in my heart everytime I have to walk past the spot where she used to sit in the department.

She will be greatly missed.